Answered Prayers

"You Get What You Need"

Answered Prayers

In 1999, I started a new “dream” job at the Chicago Public Library Foundation. Try as I might, I could not get along with my boss Marilyn. Turns out not many could. Marilyn was petty and would pride herself on making others feel small. “Oh, look, she feels small” she would actually coo to whomever happened to be around. As if that didn’t make one feel even smaller. And since it was a 2 person office, I was miserable. I started the job in June but by August I knew that I was doomed. I did enjoy interacting with the Board Members and Chicago Public Library Staff. We were working together on CPL’s approaching 150 year anniversary that October. The memory of Amy Eschleman beaming over how much she enjoyed her working relationship with her boss, Library Commissioner Mary Dempsey remains. It felt good to bask in their glow, their energy as they worked together. I so admired their mutual respect, knowledge and enveloping interest in others. I was content to be in their orbit. I wanted what they had and knew now that I couldn’t continue working with Marilyn.

I gave a month’s notice with Dec 31, 1999 as my leave date. My reason? “To work on my writing full time”. I quit without a safety net. I had made it for a half a year full of stress and not many joyful moments. Shell shocked was how I felt, probably akin to PTSD. My great good friends Kathy and Tom were my sounding boards, someone who I could reach out to to quell the awful feelings arising in me. Luckily they lived nearby so they became my surrogate therapists and trusted advisors. When I finally vocalized my thought of possibly just quitting to get out of the situation, they wholeheartedly reassured me that it would be the only thing to do.

What I didn’t know until today in a marvelously timed email was that I was suffering from an imbalance of relational energy. Vernon Nicholas founded UPLIFTED HUMAN, a research-based learning hub that empowers others to embody critical 21st century life skills that modern education overlooks. I’m an avid follower of Vern, having participated in many of his energy biofields workshops. According to Vern, “relational energy is the energy we exchange being around supportive people who uplift us. Consciously and subconsciously, we seek relational energy to become renewed.” When that is lacking, you become burned out, wear the “walking dead” look where the strain in your face is a roadmap for all the distress in your body and the exhaustion in your voice is a cry for help.

Leaving a job is never easy but it’s against our innate nature to stay in occupations or relationships that aren’t life-affirming. When we go against our innate nature & stay in occupations or relationships without relational energy, we leave ourselves vulnerable to dis-ease. And who basically has time for that?!

It took a few steps – scary ones and blind ones as well for me to get to that sweet spot where I could enjoy and revel in a good working relationship, one that had relational energy.  Once I did, it felt so great!  I would gush to others about how great my boss was. I was so annoying – especially to my former boss who remains a best friend! It tasted so sweet after such bitterness, how could I not revel in it? I really benefitted from my role as an Executive Assistant to the President and Executive Vice President of a real estate consulting firm. I was a sponge – eager to learn new things, new responsibilities and I developed some new skills/strengths along the way. The Universe really does provide and I’m so grateful to see, to articulate what I wanted – and then the steps found their way to me. I didn’t know the outcome but am so grateful for it. Keep an open heart and an open mind. Don’t be afraid to walk away from a toxic situation.  Your life awaits YOU!